I spent several days alone in my mother-in-law's house, mostly in her bedroom, sifting through everything from nightgowns to slips to pantyhose to make-up and jewelry. From the closet I pulled out familiar sweaters, jackets, trousers, and like-new dresses. As I continued performing this tearful task, a pattern began to emerge.
Inside at least one pocket of every garment, I found a wadded-up Kleenex. Every sweater, jacket, pair of pants, or dress that sported a pocket, held a crushed white tissue; winter coats included. By the time I finished sorting an eighty-two-year-old's entire wardrobe and deciding which ones to give to family or donate to charity, the bed contained piles of clothes and the wastebasket held a mound of white fluff.
Weeks later on a Sunday morning, I sat on the cushioned pew of a Baptist church and began searching for a Kleenex. I slid my hand into the pocket of my black dress coat and pulled out a wad of not one, two, or three, but a total of four tissues -- three white and one light blue. Momentarily distracted from the sermon, I thought perhaps I needed to do some snooping, so when time permitted, I went to my own closet where yet again a pattern emerged.
While confiscating more of the same from one pocket after another, I decided to relieve every garment of its crumpled debris. I rifled through skirts, robes, and at least a dozen hoodies. I tended to this ritual fully cognizant that my odd actions would probably stump Sigmund Freud. Nevertheless, I continued on until my mission was completed. I also pledged to refrain from a habitual mindless maneuver that, in the end, has the potential of giving the illusion of mindlessness.
Even now, many years later, when I reflexively start to hide a tissue in its customary resting place, I remember my mother-in-law and catch myself. At bedtime as I change into my pajamas, I check for surprises in my pockets. Most of the time, I arrest the tissue issue altogether by simply throwing it away after the first use. After all, Puffs are relatively inexpensive and easy to come by.
When my name is called and I join other tissue users who have pre-deceased me, I will leave much behind that might raise an eyebrow -- handwritten scribbles on bits of paper, song lyrics without music notes, boocoodles of silly stories like this one, and other curiosities but of this I am certain: Whomever is saddled with the tiresome chore of sorting through my belongings at the end of my ride, will not find a single wadded-up Kleenex in any pocket. Well, maybe just one.